Tricks and Tantrums

I've relocated to Planet Alien. That’s my new address. Why? I am now treading the parts of an unknown world armed with knowledge from theoretical expert No. 1 "What to Expect when you're Expecting" and of course practical expert No. 2 "my mum". Still, no babies are alike and my little one definitely does not follow in my footsteps; at least that's what my mum tells me. 

 I am literally amazed at the number of tricks she already has up her sleeve. I mean it was just the other day; I actually saw her giving my sister a wink. Followed by a cheeky smile. She’s only a few days old but already knows how to encircle her tiny little fingers around my thumb. And I also caught her giving my sleeves a tiny tug. I tried balancing her feeding bottle on the pillow whilst getting her to drink her milk and she successfully managed to do that too.

I’ve always seen other babies scared of the water. They howl and cry when mummies try giving them their baths. But not my girl! She’s a pro, through and through! She splashes water all over; loves to shampoo and adores lathering in her baby body wash. She turns into one of the Roman babies, bundled in her bath towel. We have to have her milk ready to be served to her immediately after bundling her into the towel. She won’t even wait to get dressed. Post the drinking session is nose powdering time. A new dress ( and I literally mean she has tons of new dresses) comes out of the closet; by the way; she already has dedicated closet space. Did I have that when I was a baby too? Got to remember to ask my mum.

With all these chores out of the way; it’s nap time! 

Now that I’ve discussed all the good bits; this does not in any way mean that my darling daughter is an angel. Her tantrums are loud enough for even my neighbors to hear; not just at night but even during the day. Especially during the times when I have to change her nappy and she’s almost on the verge of dozing off. Again, I literally tear my hair out when she refuses to drink the required amount of milk. No amount of coaxing or pleading will get her to take to the bottle again. Even I want to; I can’t forcefully put it into her mouth either. She just closes her little lips so tight! She's going to one stubborn kid. 

Frustrations of being a first-time mother. But, she’s a bundle of amazement. Every day is a surprise package and I can’t wait to see what she does next.

First day Hiccups and Decisions

The one thing that I was really looking forward to, now that I've come back home, is to spend a full 24 hours with my daughter. During the first eventful evening and in the midst of all the shopping and baby paraphernalia, time went by pretty quickly. My first day at home was almost over; which I got my sister to again video tape; excuse being my poor memory. And I also would love my daughter to watch what her first day at home was like, when she's a little older. 

By the way, let me clarify that I've actually shifted to my mum's place. Reason being, I'm no baby expert and neither is hubby dear. So really can't take the chance of doing everything myself. That would be a big risk which I wasn't prepared to take, just yet! Maybe, I'll be more confident when I decide I want a sibling for my daughter.

I was instructed by the pediatrician about feeding the baby on demand. What a major disruption to my schedule. I mean, I just fed her like an hour ago and she's hungry again! I've been reading up on some info on the net where there is still an ongoing debate about feeding the baby on schedule or on demand. I guess it’s okay for homemakers or mums who are on a long term sabbatical to opt for the second. But for working mums, it’s going to be a nightmare. After the first few attempts, I decide to put her on a 3 hour schedule.

Next thing on the list - nappy changes. Again, a difficult one to crack. Plus, in the middle of this scorching summer in India, I'm afraid that my daughter will get severe heat or nappy rashes. Judiciously, and also an environmentally friendly solution, I choose cloth diapers, at least during the day. I realize it’s a lot of washing up at the end of the day, but on the whole it’s a much better option. I depend on Pampers for nights, just so that I can get at least 3 hours of sleep at a stretch. 

My greatest worry as night draws closer, especially after my very surprising night-time experience at the hospital, is how long my darling daughter actually sleeps at a stretch, or will she sleep at all. Since, she was kept in the Hospital Nursery (as that is the rule in India), I don't really know her sleeping patterns. And again, I've heard of horrific stories about babies not sleeping at all throughout the entire night. 

She's in a playful mood. Dinner over. A later supper, over and done with. Two happy-nappy sessions pass by. It's 2am. She's awake and so am I. I sing, I rock. Nothing works for now. My mum tries some techniques too, but does not succeed. At 2.30am, my dad walks into the room, makes a weird face at her and says, "Abracadabra Gili Gili "... or something similar to this.

Magic. She starts dozing off. It's 3am. And that's how my first day ends. 

Home. New Role. New Life.


I figured that coming back home would change things in my favor. That wasn't to be. Why? All this time at the hospital, I didn't actually have to look after the baby as much; apart from her regular snack times and mid-night visits, it was fairly quiet. But now that I'm home, there aren't any Nurses to look after her. She's not going to be a surprise night time visitor anymore. She is going to be with me 24/7. 


Another set of realizations dawns upon me. I've just been promoted to a new role in life. The job description includes:

1. Full-time nurse
2. Provider of meals at regular intervals & Burps
3. Cleaner: When she decides that she's had enough and just wants to vomit it out
4. Nappy changer: Every 3 to 4 hour intervals
5. Bath-time assistant: My mum is the real expert here
6. Singer: In case she wants to be sung to sleep
7. Expert Rocker: For the times she wants to be rocked to sleep
8. Entertainer: Making funny and weird faces, for the times she's bored and requires me to entertain her. And   by the way, I am damn good at this.


My very first day home and I am practically swarmed with phone calls. Everyone is just so excited. Especially my friends who don't have kids yet. New Daddy goes on a shopping spree and I see a new Baby Cot, Diaper Bag, Baby Clothes and tons of other stuff arrive in the evening. Instructions are read out, and with a few trial and error attempts, hubby darling and my sis manage to set up the cot. Even a cot mobile appears from nowhere. I just stare, flabbergasted! I mean, she can't even look that far yet. But who am I to argue! My daughter should get the best of what her daddy can afford. Nothing less will do. I reckon, that's the reason why they get pampered in the first place. Hmmm......Mums, always the arch enemies, for daughters! 


Another revelation! Babies really do make great shoppers out of their dads. He probably wouldn't spend half that amount of time shopping for my birthday gift. But when it comes to his dainty darling daughter, the ball game changes completely. He has all the time in the world, just to sit and look at her. 


I see everything in a new light. My husband, my family and even me. Life has changed drastically and I am still running hard to catch up.

Hospital to Home.....At last!

The day finally comes when my doctor decides it’s time to get rid of me; meaning send me back home! I do confess that I have been nagging her for the past few days to discharge me, so she finally comes around. Can't wait to be home, in my familiar surroundings. A seven day hospital stay was way too long. I guess, it serves me right for having chosen an old-school gynecologist. A brilliant one, no doubt about that! 

It's kind of funny really, that I am going home with a new addition to my family. I mean, only a week back, it was just me and my husband. I was the center of everybody's attention for the past nine months and now everything has undergone such a quick transformation. The focus has completely shifted to someone totally new. Sometimes it's just a little hard to catch up with it. 

Anyways, my mum was with me at the hospital already, so she helped me pack all my stuff. A quick call to hubby dear to inform him of the good news. He arrives pretty soon with my dad and sister. Everyone is excited. Secretly, I feel a little jealous. But I suppose, I've had my share of this full-on attention when my mum brought me home from the hospital too.

The nurse comes into my room with the baby. A big folder in her hand. Another list of instructions from her. I hope I manage to remember it all. Or it’s my mum who’s going to be my savior. Darling daughter has been bathed and her hair combed perfectly. A cute, new, pink colored dress. I made sure it was pink. A little stereotyped but I don’t really care. New socks and booties. A small matching bonnet too. I could just look at her for hours. Was this beautiful little girl really mine, for life?

All formalities complete, I am ready to leave. I wanted to etch this journey in my mind. I have a pretty awful memory and everyone in my family knows that. Sufferers are my mum and husband mostly. My solution to the problem, of course, just video tape it. I load my sister up with a list of photographing instructions, right angle, wrong angle and tons of other angles. End up confusing her more. 

The car is brought around to the hospital driveway. With the baby in my arms, I slide in. My baby is out of her cocoon and is now a part of the real world. We take the shortest route possible and arrive home quickly. My grandparents are waiting in anticipation to see her for the very first time!

Home at last! My grandmother is brought into the living room in her wheelchair. She wants to take her great-granddaughter in her arms. She kisses her on the forehead. She looks up at me and says, "I never thought I'd be able to see this day. God has been very kind to me. Thank you for this beautiful gift!"

And I couldn't have asked for anything more.

My surprise night time visitor........

No it was not my darling husband with a Chinese take-away. Although I was pretty tired of the tasteless hospital food and did on a number of occasions over the past few days think of begging someone to smuggle in some tasty food. Even home cooked food would be welcome. I did. No one agreed. Even my friends wouldn't help. Traitors. Just wait till you have your babies and I will be waiting to take my revenge. 

Alas! Disappointment persists. I will have to make do with "Hospital Food" until I reach home. 

Coming back to the identity of my surprise night time visitor, it wasn't my mum who ought to have been there that night, but wasn't. I was alone in the room. It was only a couple of days since the delivery and I was just getting used to some form of sleep with all the tubes attached, here and there. I do seem be to cribbing a lot over the lack of sleep, haven't I? Since it’s just the beginning I reckon it will take me some time to get used to the baby routine.

I see a ghostly figure at 12 in the night creeping into my room. I try to figure out who it might be. Nurses don't come unless called to the room and all my medications for the day were over and done with. 

And then I hear a chuckle! The light is switched on and my dear daughter is still awake. I demand an explanation from the nurse. Why is she isn't asleep? With glaring eyes, the nurse tells me that, "She's been in a hyper playful mood and refuses to sleep. In fact, her teeny weenie baby laughs were creating a minor ruckus and waking up all the remaining babies in the nursery." Opppssssss! Wasn't expecting that for sure.

Instant flashback! On one of my last visits to the gynecologist she asked me to lie down for a check-up. With her stethoscope, she's exploring my baby bump to check the baby's heartbeat. Normally it wouldn't really take much time. However, it was not one of the normal days. I find her stethoscope making multiple rounds of my baby bump. So after a long 5 minutes, I ask her what the problem is. And she said, "The baby is playing football." So I ask her why. She answered, "Every time I place the stethoscope to hear the heartbeat, she turns." The entire process took a solid 10 minutes to complete.

That should have rung warning bells. But obviously I didn't think much of it then. Earth calling mummy, the nurse hands her over to me. Maybe I can get to sleep, she says. Was she joking? If she couldn't do it, I definitely wouldn't know how. I've only been a mum for 2 days. Don't forget that! 

Surprise! Surprise! I find the little one dozing off with a smile on her face. The nurse gives me a wink. Maybe it's all in the magic touch of a mother's hand.  

5 am Wake-up Calls......

Do not presume from the title that I've purchased one of those digital, hi-tech radio alarms, I haven't. Neither am I in a hotel where I've requested for a wake-up call from the Reception. On the contrary, what I have invested in, is something much more long term. It requires no battery changes or any maintenance costs.  

Still guessing? It’s my daily 5am feeding wake-up call. I've always been a late riser all my life. I love my sleep. I want my sleep. This is not what I bargained for in the process of having a baby. But there's not much I can do about it. My day has begun. 

The nurse brings her in, bundled and already crying out loud for her early morning breakfast. She is handed over to me and under the nurse's strict instructions; I start my very first feeding session for my darling daughter. Both of us are novices at the job, or that's what I think. It's a trial and error method, until you strike the right balance. 

Honestly, I am pretty scared; but she's not. Many things running through my mind; which, by the way, is still not functioning with precise clarity. I don't want to choke her or over feed her. Yes! I know about these issues, because I have read tons of stuff on the internet. 

Blurry-eyed, I stare at her in awe. She's more confident at it than I am. She knows exactly what do. Who’s taught her these skills? Maybe God! Or maybe it’s just something purely in-born. And I swear by God, is she quick at it! 10 minutes and she's done. I talk to her, coochie-coo her, and she looks up at me and smiles. "I'm done for now Mummy. But I promise to be back in two hours". Cheeky monkey, isn't she?

Indication! Burp time! Now that's a real difficult job. Again, the nurse gives me another list of strict instructions and this time a demo is included in the package too. I look at my mum, who, by the way, has graciously accepted to be my night time companion at the hospital. My dear mum gives me a reassuring nod. I understand that it's time to take this important step forward. And I do!

Not very good at it the first time, but I'm sure I will get better at it. My idea of perfect execution will not work every time. Each day is a new learning curve for my baby and me. We are just getting to know each in the real world. 

Suddenly I hear, "Buurrrrrrrrrrrrrrppppp." And time stands still.

The Beginning is Always Difficult!

Motherhood.... a strange world for those who've not experienced it yet... and even more strange for those who have. Yes! I am talking about all those who have become new mums and I am one of those lucky ones. Even with all the tons of advice that you're literally drenched with, throughout the nine months of the pregnancy period, it really does not prepare you for what you actually go through when the baby comes.

A 24/7, full time job! And you think you can juggle it all? Don't fantasize about being a super-woman, 'cuz really, you are not. And this is not a joke. I mean with most of us having C-Sections, I honestly would just want to lie down, be lazy and think about "ME". But does that happen? Of course not! Why so? Because everyone is so excited about the new baby that mostly they tend to forget about whose actually carried and brought that little angel (that's because I have a daughter) of yours, into this world. Teeny weeny bit jealous, aren't we? I am being honest, truly!

By the way, this is still the hospital phase. I haven't even managed to get home yet. Please don't be hasty to assume that I am suffering from Postpartum Depression. Definitely nothing as serious as that. But hey! Shouldn't everyone be giving me some importance too? I mean come on, I've delivered a baby for god's sake, and shouldn’t I receive some sort of appreciation for that. But its not meant to work that way. The sooner you realize that, the quicker you will come to terms with this new phase in your life.

And that's when I realized that the battle for me had begun. Not for ATTENTION! Or maybe a little bit of that too. It was all about my baby. I've solely been responsible for bringing her in my life (with the help of the gynecologist... and the pediatrician and the rest of the medical team) and that left me with no room to crib or complain. A sudden revelation.... I AM A MUM! And it is for real... a lifetime commitment. 

I've been granted a Lifetime Membership to the Mums Club. Its benefits:

Free Membership with No Subscription Fees

Sleepless Nights 

Rushed Showers 

Leaving Meals Half-eaten

No Make-up Looks

However much I claim, I wasn't prepared for this change. It's hard, it's difficult and you cannot undo anything that you'd want to change. But... there is this voice in my heart that says... I am not going to fail!

And the heart never lies.